‘You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it however.’
Richard Bach

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If you want to build a house, you have to draw up a blueprint.
If you want to start a business, you have to prepare a marketing plan.
If you want to go on a trip, you have to set an itinerary.
If you want to achieve athletic success, you must follow a training program.

It is true that sometimes a particularly gifted (and/or lucky) individual can achieve results by “winging it.” However, no complex project has ever been successfully completed without careful prior planning. On the other hand, it is enough to look around to see what the results of poor planning can be.
It is no wonder, then, that when it comes to personal goals, careful planning greatly increases the chance of success.

Hundreds of books have been written on the “art” of success. In particular, the proponents of the “American Dream” constantly propose “recipes” that are nothing more than variations on a fairly simple algorithm:

1. Decide what the goal is;
2. Make a plan to achieve this goal;
3. put all the necessary skills, ambition, and patience into action

To this formula, which many consider almost “perfect,” I would add, as point 4—the flexibility to change the plan if necessary. Of course, the question arises: “If things are so simple, why then are there so few successful people?”

Why Goal Setting Is So Difficult

In reality, it seems that “success gurus” fail to take into account the fact that the biggest problems usually don’t arise when pursuing a goal, but in the preliminary stage, when trying to set and choose that goal.
For most of us, the task of setting personal goals proves to be extremely difficult. Why?
First of all, because when we think about setting a goal, we actually have to make important decisions about what we will actually do with our lives, and this naturally carries implications that cannot be easily faced.
The second problem is that the freedom we have always makes the choice more difficult. Ultimately, choosing a goal involves a process of analysis through which we give up a multitude of other possibilities. For many of us, this selection process causes psychological discomfort, anxiety, and in extreme cases even a “paralysis” of will. Finally, because we are constantly bombarded with information, it is quite difficult for us to make a “cool-headed” judgment.

Goals We Choose vs Goals Imposed on Us

The mass media presents us, across all channels, with a certain model of success and lifestyle to which we are gradually pushed to conform, even if this does not correspond at all to our deeper needs or our psychological makeup.

If we consider the process of setting goals, we must keep in mind that these are directly linked to our worldview and our own value system. This is, of course, an extremely personal matter that each of us deserves to examine more closely. In this article, I aim to share part of my perspective, with which you do not necessarily have to agree.
I take this liberty because I find this idea extremely motivating and remain convinced that what matters more than the realistic foundations of a vision is its degree of usefulness.

Discovering Your Personal Mission

My conviction is that each of us has a “mission” on earth and was born with all the qualities necessary to fulfill it successfully. This “mission” cannot be chosen; it must be discovered.
Discovering one’s personal “mission” can be a lifelong endeavor, and this means that sometimes the discovery of the mission is more important than the process of fulfilling it. The short- and medium-term goals we set for ourselves—that is, at the start of each day or week—should help us navigate a new segment on the path to fulfilling our mission.

The Difference Between Achievement and Fulfillment

I am convinced that this is the secret to what we call personal satisfaction.
Aligning our actions with the path toward fulfilling our mission creates a sense of well-being, while the dissonance between the goals we set for ourselves and our personal mission is almost certainly the main cause of dissatisfaction.
Of course, offering you advice on finding your mission would be a sign of excessive pride.

Questions That Reveal Your True Aspirations

That is why I can only suggest a few questions that may serve as “guiding principles.”
When you have a few free hours and feel like reflecting a bit, grab a pencil and a few sheets of paper and do the following “exercises”:

1. Describe your ideal day: who you would meet, what you would do, where you would go. Try to include as many details as possible, especially regarding the feelings you would experience.

2. Describe your ideal environment. Then try to describe what the perfect place for you would look like.

3. Make an “inventory” of your dreams regarding what you would like to be, do, and achieve. The key question you must ask is: “What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?” Write nonstop for at least 15 minutes, trying not to set any limits for yourself. If this helps, I suggest you imagine that you’ve found Aladdin’s lamp and, as a result, the “genie” is at your service: put all your desires on paper—social, professional, material, spiritual, emotional, and so on.
When you have finished these three exercises, try to discover if there is anything in common behind the desires you expressed in each point, why it seems to you that you truly need those things, and especially whether those desires are truly your own or have been imposed from the outside.
Learning to recognize our true aspirations is, of course, a difficult process. In the face of the “brainwashing” that external factors—such as the media, priests, teachers, politicians, parents, etc.—administer to us more or less directly, the only weapons with which we can defend ourselves are introspection and independent judgment. After “completing” the first three “exercises,” you almost certainly already have some clues about your “mission.” On this basis, we can continue with the following points.

4. Regarding the personal goals you consider truly important, write down an estimate of how much time you’ll need to achieve them. Whenever we talk about goals, we must take into account the “timeframe” within which we’re operating.

5. Choose four of the most important goals for this year and write down everything that leads you to consider them as such. If you manage to find sufficient reasons and express them clearly, you will realize that you have the ability to achieve them. The key to success is, let’s not forget, motivation—which I would define precisely as “motive in action.”

6. Check the wording of the goal: a. the goal must be written in a positive sense; b. it must be drafted with maximum precision; c. it is necessary to develop a verification procedure; d. determine the levers you can use to maintain control of the situation; e. verify that your goal does not conflict with the legitimate interests of others.
To use a typical American formula, you must ensure that your objective is “SMART,” meaning: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound.

7. Make a list of the most important resources at your disposal. Each of us possesses, to varying degrees, resources in the form of talent, skills, relationships, knowledge, etc.
Unfortunately, many people fail to leverage these resources precisely because of a lack of organization. If you’ve had specific experiences where you utilized these resources, describe those situations in writing. This will provide concrete evidence that you possess these resources and have already successfully applied them.

8. Describe the kind of person you need to become to maximize your chances of achieving the goals you have chosen. Americans say that to earn $1 million, you must first become a person capable of earning $1 million.
The real reason we set and pursue goals is the need for self-affirmation and personal growth. Goals in and of themselves don’t mean much. What’s essential is the process through which you’ll become the person capable of achieving them.
The obstacles you encounter and overcome in this process are the source of the deepest and most lasting sense of satisfaction and personal fulfillment.

9. Write down in a few sentences what is preventing you or has prevented you from fulfilling your aspirations. You will discover that in most cases, the culprits are the limits you have created for yourself. In the final analysis, there are only two obstacles to success: laziness and fear. Destroy them!

10. Return to the four main goals you have set for yourself and try to plan the actions necessary to achieve them. If you have followed the goal-setting process correctly, you will find that these goals now seem perfectly achievable, and you will not encounter major difficulties in establishing a strategy to put them into practice.

Why Goals Must Evolve Over Time

Of course, it is very difficult to summarize such an important issue as the relationship between one’s personal “mission” and the goals we set for ourselves in a two-page article. I would like to emphasize, however, that during the many seminars I have conducted on this topic, I have found that the process I have presented to you, if followed correctly, can serve as a good starting point for greater self-awareness.
It is important to remember that none of the answers you have found are definitive, but rather “temporary,” so it is necessary to repeat this process at least every three months. It will be interesting to observe how your aspirations change as you reach new levels of knowledge and gain experience.
This is why I think it’s fitting to conclude with a Mayan proverb: “When you choose a goal, aim for the Moon! Even if you miss, you’ll still be surrounded by stars.”

by Bruno