“Life is trouble. Only death is not. To be alive is to undo your belt and *look* for trouble.”
Nikos Kazantzakis, Zorba the Greek

“And they lived happily ever after”: how many stories have we read that end this way? And how many movies, novels, and plays—even without using that exact phrase—convey the same message?
And how many of us dream of organizing our lives in the same way—finding a partner, building a stable life, pursuing a career, and accumulating enough money to achieve financial and family security and finally “live happily ever after”?

A dream or… a nightmare?

Ever since Aristotle—in his *Poetics*—defined the “perfect” structure of a comedy, every story—even with its infinite possible variations—follows the same basic pattern: there are characters, there are goals to achieve, troubles to face, and difficulties to overcome, so that tension and uncertainty build up until catharsis occurs, the problems are somehow resolved, and the desired conclusion is reached: “and they lived happily ever after.”

This type of structure shapes us from a young age and leads us to believe that our lives can unfold in the same way as a movie or a literary work: that is, that it’s possible to set a goal, to struggle against difficulties and obstacles, but then—once we’ve finally overcome them—to enjoy our well-deserved rest and live the rest of our lives free of problems and worries.

Life does not follow a script

Unfortunately—or, rather, fortunately…— life isn’t a movie: experience teaches us that when we manage to achieve any goal, big or small (marriage, a promotion, a certain social status, a certain financial outcome, …), we discover that we haven’t actually solved anything; on the contrary: we discover that the number and difficulty of the challenges we’ll face have simply increased—just like in school, where every time we move up a grade, the subjects and assignments become increasingly difficult and demanding.

Moreover, we need only look around to be forced to admit that every human being, regardless of wealth or social status, struggles with family, health, and work problems, and that the differences lie only in the scale of the problems, not in their substance.

The impossible dream of a problem-free life

Therefore, the fact that from time to time—overwhelmed by obstacles and problems—we long for a break is absolutely normal, and, in fact, that is what vacations are for. But managing our lives while continuing to dream of a situation that will finally allow us to “live happily ever after” and reach a kind of nirvana where conflicts and problems no longer exist, aside from being an unattainable goal, hides something far more serious: it hides a rejection of life itself, which by definition is a continuous series of increasingly difficult problems and challenges with which life tests us; it hides the desire to escape the struggle, a desire that reveals nothing but fear and insecurity.

But life is conflict, movement, and growth, and it is precisely through the difficulties we face and overcome that we discover the essence and meaning of our existence.
Failure to accept this simple and obvious truth leads us to victimhood, to rejecting the experience, to escaping from what—even if demanding and sometimes painful—can truly prove to be a moment of growth. Every athlete knows that only through rigorous training can they become stronger and perform better; every student knows that only by grappling with increasingly complex studies and problems can they become a professional; every musician or dancer knows that only through a constant struggle against difficulties can they become a true artist.

So, instead of dreaming of a nonexistent and impossible future (which would actually be nothing but a nightmare—how long would we truly be able to endure a “perfect” life, with no problems to solve, before boredom and depression kill us?), we’d better start accepting life in its entirety, so that we can find in every experience—no matter how unpleasant and harsh it may seem—the lesson it holds, and use it to grow and develop as human beings.

Learning to dance with the present moment

And we would do well to recognize that we are not in a position to judge things as they happen to us, and that often what seemed like a disaster at the time may later turn out to have paved the way for a new level of awareness and growth, by accepting the fact that letting go of all judgment and all complaints, and learning to dance with the present moment—whatever challenges it presents to test us—is the true key to growth, happiness, and life itself.

by Bruno