It is truly a great pleasure to begin this collaboration with this magazine.
Communication and sales techniques—a field in which I believe I have solid theoretical and practical training—form the foundation of every commercial activity and, indeed, of every human activity.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a new science, derived from cognitive psychology and cybernetics, that enables complete control over the basic components that constitute human experience.
Its application in the fields of psychotherapy and business has yielded remarkable results, and its potential is still far from being fully realized.
Like any complex technique, it cannot be learned solely from books, much less from magazines; but I am confident that some of the concepts underlying NLP will be immediately useful, and in the future we will see how they can be further explored.
But, to begin with, instead of talking about the technique, I’d like to share a few reflections and perhaps a bit of philosophy.
Everyone knows that every daily activity is very complex in its own way and that you need to learn rules and methods to do something specific—not just to do it any old way, but to do it well.
Despite this, one of the things that has always amazed me, when reflecting on the nature of the world, is that although reality appears complex, there are still some basic concepts that, once understood, can be used to grasp the whole of reality.
For example, the concept of survival: every living organism (animal, human) or social entity (company, state) has survival and self-perpetuation as its primary objective. Ignoring this principle in daily life inevitably leads to misguided behavior, with disastrous consequences.

The Fundamental Principle of Exchange

Another fundamental concept is that of exchange: no organism is self-sufficient and, consequently, constantly needs something from its environment—whether natural or social—such as food, information, protection, or love.
To obtain these things, it must give something of its own in exchange, to create a balanced exchange (money, labor, various information, etc.). Obviously, money is merely a practical tool for quickly and fairly facilitating some of these possible transactions.
When I say that money isn’t everything, it simply means that there are things we need for our survival that don’t have a price that can be expressed in currency. (How much is a sincere smile worth?, for example).
As a corollary to the above, it can be said that we can obtain what we need only in proportion to what we are able and willing to give in exchange (a smile has no price, but I can get one with a polite gesture or a good joke).

The 3 Crucial Questions for Every Interaction

From what I’ve said so far, there’s a maxim I’d like to see written everywhere in big letters—one that each of us should reflect on every day:
“If I give someone what they want and need, they will give me what I want and need.”
If what I’ve said is true (and I guarantee it is), three questions immediately arise:

1. How can you know what another person truly wants?
2. How can I know what I truly want? (This question may seem strange, but it is the most important one, and we will discuss it another time.)
3. How can I make it clear to the other person what I want, and how can I convince them that the exchange is beneficial for both of us?

This brings us to the very heart of the matter, to the key concept of existence, which is communication.
Everything I do—and I emphasize “everything”—involves “communication” or, as the Palo Alto School of Psychology puts it: “every behavior is communication.”
Communication with people, of course, but also with machines, with social entities, etc.
For example, when I drive a car, I communicate my intention to turn the steering wheel or to adjust the accelerator; similarly, the car is designed so that it can communicate to me when the fuel is low or the engine is malfunctioning.
I intentionally used an extreme example to highlight some principles of communication:

1. To be understood, I must use language that is familiar and, therefore, accessible to the listener. (It is pointless to tell the car, “Turn right now!”; instead, I must signal and turn the steering wheel.)
2. What matters is not what you intend to communicate, but what the listener understands (this relationship is defined by the concept of feedback).
3. The communicator is primarily responsible for the outcome of the communication. (If someone misunderstands me, it is not their fault, but mine. I must change my manner of communication.)

All these considerations may seem rather trivial, but practical experience shows that:

1. We always forget about them.
2. We never have an “instruction manual” for accessing another person’s mind, and thus for being understood by them.
3. People are much more complicated than machines, so interpersonal communication is the most complex type of communication.

Nevertheless, it is curious that everyone understands the need for serious study to learn, for example, how to use a computer—which is, after all, a very simple thing—yet they do not see the need to learn the principles of how the human mind works, which is infinitely more complex than a computer.

The 3 Levels of Communication: Breaking the Myth

One thing that further complicates human communication is that it takes place on three levels:

1. Logical
2. Paraverbal
3. Nonverbal

Of these, the logical level (i.e., the level of words) accounts for only 7% of the total communication process; 38% occurs at the paraverbal level (tone, volume, speaking speed, etc.), and 55% at the nonverbal level (facial expressions, posture, movement, clothing, etc.).
If there are no contradictions between these levels, communication can be effective.
However, if there are contradictions between the levels, the message conveyed will not have the intended effect.
For example, a poorly educated person who struck it rich, no matter how well-dressed and elegant they may be (nonverbal communication), would immediately be exposed at the level of logical communication, and in their case, the clothes would no longer make the man.

Or, to illustrate the relationship between the logical and paraverbal levels, it is often said that what matters is not “what you say,” but “how you say it.”
Kind words spoken in a harsh tone are not received as such.
From this, a conclusion we will return to is worth emphasizing: in the act of human communication, we must focus equally on all levels of communication: logical (verbal), paraverbal, and nonverbal.
I said earlier that there is no manual on how to reach a person’s consciousness, but I was exaggerating.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming allows us to create this manual.
First, by decoding and describing the processes of the human brain with near-mathematical precision, and then by identifying those “levers” that can be used to influence the conscious and unconscious decisions of our interlocutors.
We’ll discuss all of this in our upcoming meetings.