This interview about coaching was conducted via chat with a psychology student (Radu Weiss) for a student magazine.

So, here’s the interview:

Can we really improve indefinitely?

R:
One of your areas of expertise is coaching. Can you tell us what a coach is, what they do, and what they’re good for?

Bruno:
The basic idea is super simple: if you’re doing something, you can do it even better.

R:
Isn’t there an upper limit? Or will we never find out because we all die before we get there?

Bruno:
Who knows? All of history is nothing more than a map with areas marked “hic sunt leones”. Then someone explores them and draws a sketch… As for dying, there are a lot of people who have never died…

R:
In what sense?

Bruno:
Us, for example 🙂 … Who knows what might happen… a network backup, and there’s the path to immortality… Anyway, on a more down-to-earth note, the idea is that, as far as we know, we could survive even if 60% of our brain were removed. And this isn’t a joke: there’s a child who was accidentally shot in the head and is missing 60% of his brain. He’s all grown up now, and he runs a software company (please, no Microsoft references, anyone…).

R:
Hmm, if they ever invent that backup thing, I hope they let me delete the crappy files first.

Bruno:
Well, you’d lose your individuality. What would you be without your bad memories? Anyway, good or bad—they’re just opinions. It’s really cool to learn from your mistakes… that way you can keep making new ones all the time. And anyway, the most interesting mistakes have been repeating themselves since the dawn of history. And nobody learns anything. The first time a guy has a thing with a girl, he’s just as clueless as an Egyptian from 5,000 years ago… Power games, philosophical stances… ideas about death or life. It seems like everyone starts over from scratch. In fact, it seems that’s what religion is for: it provides a certain explanation that people accept so they can focus on more concrete things, instead of thinking about death, heaven, or whatever.

R:
Um, shall we get back to coaching?

Bruno:
Yes. However, there is a direct connection: the hidden potentials in the brain are the biggest obstacle to evolutionary theory, even if no one says so. I mean, why would such a powerful organ have evolved if, in fact, it isn’t used? If everyone did what they already know they’re capable of, without learning anything new, they’d achieve spectacular results. Learning, in this context, means using other resources.

R:
But do people continue to learn after they start working in a field or not?

Bruno:
Well, that  may have been true in the past. Now, if you go a few months without learning anything, you’re out of the game. In fact, the way we learn needs to change now. The brain needs to be used for something other than memorizing information that can easily be found on Google; it needs to be trained to make the connections that Google can’t possibly make. In fact, now with the internet (and this has been the subject of many sci-fi stories), we’re heading toward a global brain (and here’s how Jung’s collective unconscious has materialized—if there’s enough electricity, of course… :-).
We’re all like a person struggling to get by on 1,000 euros a year… and not using the 100,000 they have stashed under the mattress. We’ll probably never know what it would be like to live using 100% of our brain’s capacity… But with a little technique, it’s easy to double or triple your performance… and that brings us back to my line of work.

The hidden potential of the human mind

R:
Triple your performance?

Bruno:
Why not? With a little practice, you can immediately triple your reading speed, for example. With a little mnemonic technique, you can put on a memory show. It’s no different from the situation with people who like to sit in front of the TV and drink beer (and end up skinny with a beer belly)—when, without having to compete in the Olympics, all it takes is a little effort to maintain an athletic physique. For example, three gym sessions a week are enough to look (and feel) great. With a little “brainbuilding,” the same thing happens with your brain.

Garbage in, garbage out

R:
Mens sana in corpore sano…

Bruno:
The truth is that we still don’t fully understand just how strong the connection is between the mind and the body… and just how much they resemble each other. I mean, people who wouldn’t put garbage or poison in their mouths allow the nonsense on TV—or intellectual poison of all kinds—to get into their heads. And the mental pollution caused by nonsense is far worse than smog. Already, if you get rid of that poison, you’ll achieve amazing results. Without needing any special training, an average person who quits smoking, drinking, and eating junk food can dramatically improve their health in just a few weeks. If we understood that the mind is just as sensitive—if not more so—than the stomach, we’d be sooo much more careful about what we put into it. The GIGO (garbage in, garbage out) mechanism. For example, up until a hundred years ago, people didn’t understand that microbes existed, even though they knew that if they stayed near a sick person, they’d get sick too. Then it was understood. Now, we intuitively know that if we stay near someone who’s depressed, after a while we’ll get depressed too. But it seems we still don’t understand—and we don’t understand the power of memetics, nor the necessity of the mass media.

R:
Memetics = ?

Bruno:
In a nutshell, it means that an idea spreads much more powerfully if it’s related to sex, danger, hunger, and so on. No one would watch the news if it said that nothing happened today and that everything was fine. So, as I actually heard once on TV—and it had me in stitches—it’s better than nothing to report that there was a serious car accident in the Philippines with five fatalities… I think we’re so used to this mechanism that we don’t realize how toxic it is.

From paradise to a nightmare

Example:
In the U.S., the probability of dying in a car accident is 1 in 30,000 per year, and of being shot to death is 1 in 60,000 per year. Now imagine you’re on an island with 3,000 residents. A car accident is equivalent to being eaten by a shark, and being shot is equivalent to being stabbed by a neighbor. That means the residents live in a paradise on earth, where once every TEN years someone is eaten by a shark, and once every TWENTY years—as parents even tell their children—one resident stabs another. Now imagine an archipelago of 100,000 islands, connected by television. And suddenly, paradise turns into a nightmare where every day 31 people are stabbed… and 62 are eaten by sharks… and everyone lives in fear.
Let’s get back to coaching. My basic philosophy—which is very, very simple—is that, aside from specific pathological cases, the brain is a perfect and wonderful tool that, for now, far surpasses even the best computer—but, like any computer, it depends on the quality of the software and the quality of the data. And GIGO.

R:
Does the coach upgrade the software, too?

Bruno:
If you want to stick with the metaphor, we’re also full of viruses. Coaching is based first and foremost on getting rid of the biggest blockages. If you have a 200-gig hard drive and 1 gig of RAM, but it’s still full of junk, the computer runs poorly, regardless of its quality. For example, there’s a coaching program called CleanSweep, designed to bring a little order to your life. It’s nothing more and nothing less than a fitness program. You start by clearing out everything that drains your energy: toxic relationships, pointless and disorganized work, things you’ve been putting off… in other words, you start regaining a little control over your life. This immediately improves your quality of life and helps you gain confidence in yourself—and in the coach, of course—to move forward. Once you’ve gotten rid of the major roadblocks, you start focusing on goals, strategy, and so on. But it’s just like in sports: there’s no point in going to a “super” coach with a big belly, a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I mean, no program can overcome that kind of self-sabotage. Obviously, a big part of the work is actually helping the client find the energy to get started.

R:
…and keeping them on the right track…

Bruno:
…and in helping them cope with decisions that are painful in the moment. Nobody likes dieting at first, or quitting smoking. Sometimes, when I see that someone is in a toxic relationship or “friendship,” and I advise them to cut it off, I hear: “But do I really have to leave? He’s my best friend…” and I say: “No, you have to run away at the speed of light….”

R:
Hmm, when is a relationship toxic?

Bruno:
When, in one way or another, it drains your energy. For example, still in sports: if I want to make it to the Olympics, I’d better get out of the group where everyone drinks, smokes, and watches games. Note: there’s nothing “wrong” with drinking or smoking if someone’s happy with that, but of course that’s not how you make it to the Olympics… I don’t want it to seem like I’m putting a “moral” spin on what I’m saying, but if you have a friend—no matter how good—who does nothing but complain about money, the country, his wife, and who knows what else, that’s a toxic friend. His poison will affect you, too.

Why we need a coach

R:
But can’t a person recognize and fix all these problems on their own? Why do you need a coach?

Bruno:
Exactly… often you need an outside perspective. Think about how many times, after you’ve escaped a certain situation, you ask yourself, “How the hell did I get myself into this and put up with it…,” but when you’re in the middle of it, it’s harder to realize. It takes time and a lot of effort—despite what reason tells you—to get rid of bad TV shows, negative friends, and activities that fry your brain. And let’s not forget: that’s just the first step—the real enemy is in our own minds. But you can’t beat it if, for example, you’re not getting the right support from the outside.

R:
And that’s where the coach comes in?

Bruno:
Naturally, as much as possible… and in terms of goal-setting. It’s obvious that for a normal person, a beer won’t hurt (just one!). But for someone training for the Olympics, that’s already too much. It’s part of a coach’s job to help their client clarify their goals. I mean, if someone wants a gold medal, they know they’ll have to pay a very high price—socially, intellectually, sexually, and so on—and they’ll have to figure out if it’s really worth it. The challenge is to help the client find a balance and clarify their priorities. Anyway, Jesus says, “What good are all the treasures of the world if you lose your soul?” It’s pointless to make a fortune if your child is doing drugs… you have heart problems from stress… and you can’t go out without four bodyguards because, if you don’t, someone will shoot you…

R:
I’m wondering… in delicate situations, doesn’t the coach manipulate the client?

Bruno:
Maybe so… the important thing is to make a choice.

Choosing your own goals

R:
To get rid of indecision?

Bruno:
No, the opposite… to break free from automatic responses… But I don’t guide anyone. That’s very important. The goal is “nosce te ipsum”—know thyself. The hardest thing to learn is actually NOT to give advice. Advice is something the wise don’t need… and the foolish doesn’t listen to. What’s important—and requires a specific technique—is raising the level of “perception” and self-knowledge. It’s not a matter of whether family or discovery is more important. THEY must know whether one or the other is more important to THEM… and find that out as soon as possible, rather than discovering it after he’s ruined his life. What’s important is that it be a conscious choice: that’s why I was saying it’s hard to break free from automatic behaviors, no matter how harmful they may be.
Don’t forget that we’re chasing “success” goals that are imposed on us from the outside. We’re told that if we don’t have the biggest Mercedes and the smallest cell phone, we’re stupid or failures… but that’s a belief that suits society, not necessarily you. Maybe you’d feel really good living in the countryside, riding a horse, and without a cell phone at all. That’s the biggest problem with this whole goal-setting thing. People think it’s hard to achieve goals, when what’s really hard is choosing them… and freeing yourself from all external influences.
So, in conclusion, whatever you do in this life must have a philosophical-religious foundation, in one way or another—in other words, no earthly achievement can withstand a simple “so what?” If you like Freud, you can call it the anxiety of death… you need an answer—whatever it may be—but one that you find satisfying. For that, you need more than just a coach… 🙂 The second level is understanding what we’re looking for on this planet. It’s simple: we’re here to find out why we’re here 😉 More specifically, we’re here to express ourselves… That is, to express the talents and abilities we possess.

Radu Weiss
Faculty of Psychology
University of Bucharest – sophomore