Mr. Bruno Medicina, an Italian—as his name suggests—is one of the few European specialists in the field of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Why so few? Simply because this discipline emerged only very recently in the place where, by tradition and reality, we place the realm of all possibilities—the United States of America. A connoisseur of Romania and of… Romanians, Bruno also speaks our language; his first article was even written directly in Romanian (this one is translated from Italian). How did this collaboration come about? Very simply! One fine day, we found ourselves in the newsroom with a tall, friendly young man who, without much introduction, told us about Neuro-Linguistic Programming and his desire to promote this new discipline in Romania. Why “Idei de Afaceri”? Because after reviewing the rather extensive range of economic publications, he felt that “Idei de Afaceri” was the best fit for his purpose. Why does he want to promote this discipline? Because he hopes that, in the near future, interest in Neuro-Linguistic Programming will be great enough that, together with us, he can organize seminars and short courses for those who feel they still have more to learn. Since, at the time of submitting the materials for the magazine, Bruno was in Genoa, with a sense of fairness characteristic of a civilization shaped by a genuine market economy, he sent us the article by fax, in Italian, not forgetting to mention that he could also translate it, but… to give him an extra day. It wasn’t necessary, since we have our own “Italians” here. We look forward to hearing your opinions on Neuro-Linguistic Programming. (This was of course the editor’s comment)

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Anyone who read the previous article carefully will recall that we based every human transaction on the concept of exchange.
They will also recall the assertion that an exchange can only take place when the person proposing it is able to make it appealing to the other party and satisfy one of their needs.
Ultimately, it all boiled down to this simple, fundamental truth: discover what the other person wants and present it to them in a convincing manner.
All of this brought the concept of communication to the center of the discussion.

The Core Truth of Human Interaction

However, in order to discuss communication effectively, we must first provide a brief theoretical introduction, which will serve as a reference point for all future discussions.
Let us therefore examine, in very simplified terms, how the human brain functions and how it receives and processes information.

How the Human Brain Processes Information

Our gray matter constantly receives from the environment a series of visual, auditory, and tactile (or, rather, kinesthetic) stimuli that are perceived by the senses; of these, only a very small portion enters our consciousness, to be subsequently stored in our memory.
Memory functions in an associative manner, that is, by connecting each new “input” to something that already exists, though not necessarily in a rational or logical way.
At the same time, information about our internal physiology reaches our brain.

The Subjective Map of the World

Here are a few particularly important principles:

• Any human experience can be described in physiological terms.
• Each person has had different experiences, and so the associations present in their memory will be subjective.
• The contents of a person’s memory give them a personal view of the surrounding world, which will necessarily be unique and personal.
• Every new piece of information will stimulate pre-existing associations, and based on them, a certain behavior will be determined.
• Words are merely auditory (spoken) or visual (written) symbols to which an ethnic community has assigned a meaning that is presumed to be shared by all members of that community.

In fact, all of this can be represented schematically as follows:

Stimulus > Internal Processing > Response

Let’s take a simple example: two people are in a room and are talking.
At one point, a dog comes in, wagging its tail.
One person starts petting it, while the other, terrified, takes refuge at the table.
What happened?
Both people received the same sensory stimuli (visual stimulus—the image of the dog; auditory stimulus—the sound of its footsteps, growling, etc.; kinesthetic stimulus—the smell), but while the first person associated them with memories of affection and pleasure, for the second person they triggered memories of fear and flight (they had likely been bitten in the past).
Words are stimuli like any others and can produce the same unpredictable results, since the listener may attribute a different symbolic value to them than the one we intended.

I want to emphasize that no matter what I talk about, words can only provide a modest approximation, never a perfect description. (If I say “house,” everyone knows what I mean, but each person will form a different mental image. If I then talk about values and feelings, we’ll find ourselves in total confusion. What do you think of when I say “love”? And “success” or “fairness”?)
I’ll take this opportunity to introduce you to a basic technique: when you want to convince someone to do something, feel free to use these words, which everyone recognizes as positive and which guarantee immediate agreement from your listener.
Listen to the speeches of politicians all over the world, and you’ll clearly see that they’re made up of this kind of language.
They all talk to you about “freedom,” “development,” “peace,” “prosperity,” carefully avoiding concrete details from the very beginning…

Returning to more technical arguments, let’s add that every person, in addition to having a subjective “map of the world,” also has a personal way of processing information.
To communicate effectively, we must therefore discover this way, so that we can synchronize (get on the same wavelength) with our conversation partner’s tone or come to an agreement with them. (This is a complex concept that we will develop step by step.)

The VAK Model: Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic Channels

A key difference is that each of us relies on a specific sensory channel as the foundation for our own experience and, consequently, our own communication.
Some people will place the greatest importance on visual information, others on auditory information, and still others on kinesthetic information, and they will communicate accordingly.
These can be easily perceived by listening to the words a person uses: expressions such as “the situation is clear,” “today I see everything in black,” “it is a clear (bright) truth” tell us that the person using them has a predominantly visual way of perceiving reality.
In contrast, phrases such as: “That doesn’t sound right to me,” “It’s a jarring contrast,” “There’s a dissonance” will indicate an auditory preference. Similarly, those who use expressions such as: “I get the idea,” “I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders,” “everything is moving toward perfection” employ a predominantly kinesthetic mode of perception.

Using the same dominant mode of perception as your conversation partner is the first step toward achieving “alignment” and effective communication. (If you need to sell a car to a “visual” customer, it’s absolutely pointless to talk to them about the hum of the engine or how comfortable the seats are, but it’s very effective to focus on the color and design.)

In conclusion, as a step toward better communication, try doing some simple exercises this month: Listen to the other person to understand what mode of perception they use. Try to respond to them and convince them of something by using their mode (if they use visual terms, do the same, and so on).
Then try deliberately switching modalities and see what happens.

I guarantee that, aside from a good dose of fun, you’ll discover a whole host of things you’ve probably never thought of before. But above all, you’ll get used to communicating in terms of “results” and “efficiency,” and this will mark your first real progress in communicating with others.

Good luck!